Bear with us: Dubai’s take on the infamous British club is a far cry from the rich kid play cave that is the original. This place is pumping. Located in the Jumeriah Beach Hotel, it's a Polynesian oasis full of buoys, bamboo and booze. Aloha!

The staff are made up of more nationalities than the UN. The friendly bunch, all in matching Hawaiian shirts, tend to break out some pretty serious dance moves while behind the bar. Skills.

Line your stomach with the unbelievably moreish popcorn chicken (we wish it came in KFC bucket size) and some of the best mac n cheese outside of Great Britain. These tasty delights are served until 1am so you can equalise drinking Coconut Grenade’s (an injected coconut filled with an explosive combo of Mahiki grog, coconut, passion fruit and lime) while watching the dancers sporting sequin hot pants shake their booties on top of the booths after midnight. Leave your no-fun friends at home and get your tiki on.

PS. Word on the street is there are seven staff proudly sport Mahiki tattoos - BarChick won’t tell you where…