Waves crashing on the shore, sunset painting the sky red, ice clinking in a glass of something boozy - welcome to our happy place. You can't beat a beach bar for ultimate escapism. Basically, nothing else matters when you’re scantily clad on a beach & faraway from real life. Already got salt on your tongue? Mai Tai on your mind? Excellent. Let’s get cracking. Here are the top bars to hit, from shanty to Shangri-La
You fancy Margaritas, thatch huts & fresh guac? Course you do. Hidden underneath some palm fronds far away from Cancun is Barquito Mawimbi on paradisical Isla Holbox, a shoreline sanctuary devoid of gap yah little sh*ts & their pumping house music. Not that we don’t dig that from time to time…but Barquito has bass/tilapia tacos & house cocktails for dirt cheap. Fresh as f*ck, & more than enough hammocks for snogging & sunset-watching. In Mayan, Holbox Island means black hole, so go get lost & pray that you never have to go back to ‘the real world’, whatever that is.
Igualdad Manzana 1 Lote 1, 77310 Holbox Island, Quintana Roo, Mexico
An old fishing boat-turned-bar, wooden beach chairs & thatched brollies on one of Brazil’s most lush coastlines? No brainer. Get on it. With a turmeric & teal color palette, you’ll literally feel like you’re sloshing around in a painting. Opt for their signature pineapple & ginger Caipirinhas, chow down on some Bahian cuisine & get in a sea kayak. Vistas of the Atlantic from here are a bucket list cert.
Trancosco, Bahia, Brazil
Bonafide, supremely boozy & sleazy American sh*t show of a bar that you need in your life. American flag optional, but most definitely encouraged. Chilled out, it ain't - laughs a minute you can guarantee. We suggest leaving your frills on the mainland—this island off the coast of Maryland is filled with thirsty-topless-twentysomethings who have not one f*ck to give. Shameless hilarity ensues. Strip down to your bathing suit, or your birthday suit if you prefer nothing at all, and flop yourself on one of the inner tubes in the ocean where you’ll be served a slew of high-octane cocktails like their famous ‘Pain In The Ass’. Cue Reggae music & ‘peace police’ (bouncers)—all good vibes here.
117 49th St, Ocean City, MD 21842, United States
A bar and restaurant, on a rock, in the Indian Ocean. Literally. When it’s high tide, there are men who’ll ferry you in a skiff to this sanctum in the sea, but we say ditch it and get your bums wet. That means, dress appropriately people. By the end of the night you’ll be covered in lobster juice, salt water & lager but nothin’ like a swim (skinny dip) back to shore to wash you clean. Go get wet in this turquoise-engulfed hobbit house.
Michamwi Pingwe Peninsula, Zanzibar Island
It’s a bar on a boat where nudity, body shots & handcuffs are enthusiastically encouraged…What are you waiting for? When night descends, this schooner turns into a floating wooden island of debauch & it’s f*cking glorious. If you follow the flashlights, peep shows await you. No one’s precious about themselves here so you shouldn't be either. Be bold, do some ski shots (4 shots in a row on a jet ski) & dive in full throttle.
The Bight Bay, Norman Island, British Virgin Islands
Calling all adrenaline junkies who like spirit-laced cliff-diving—do it right & do it at Rick’s. Mega ballsy? Jump off the 35 footer into the frenzied waters below. Or prove to your mates that you’re a f*cking lunatic and dive off a tree limb that’s 60 feet high. If you’re not down, we’re not judging: leave it to the skilled locals/idiots whilst getting on it (or it on) with some ‘Sex With Ricks’ or ‘Jamaican Viagras’. Keep in mind, this cliffside watering hole was destroyed TWICE by TWO different hurricanes, but they just said f*ck you to Mother Nature & kept on boozing. Rick’s, we salute you, you badass b*tches.
W End Road, Negril, Jamaica
Put on your tunic, get a tuk-tuk & stop being frugal for just a night because sh*t just got real at this Thailand harem-esque rooftop bar. The higher the altitude, the higher the prices, but you’re on holiday so screw it. This is where serious lush-life antics go down: picture a flat deck wooden platform tarted up with massive pillows in an infinity pool with panoramic views of the Andaman Sea. It’s epic. What does it taste like? Salty sea breeze, tiger prawns & lychee-infused cocktails.
Sakdidej Rd, Wichit, Mueang Phuket District, Phuket 83000, Thailand
Everything’s draped in candy-cane pink & twinkled with conch shell lights in this shack on Providenciales & we’re lapping it up like it’s catnip. Mood? It’s the kinda place that Hollywood’s glitterati circa The Golden Age would visit for exotic kicks & lost minds. Not only are there massive pitchers of rum punch (we don’t use the word massive lightly) but they’ve got conch everything: conch fritters, cracked conch, creole conch…the works. Come for ‘Hump & Bump Night’, swig rum & stuff your face.
Blue Hills Rd, TKCA 1ZZ, Turks & Caicos Islands
Your prototypical Southern Californian abode for the afternoon decked out in white porch beds & royal blue patio umbrellas. Classic. Find a DD (check Swingers Diner on Beverly Blvd) careen down PCH with the top down & get ready to bliss out like a local. Moonshadows is where you’re sure to find the unemployed & absolutely minted—it’s weird, but just go with it. Play dress up, order the tuna tartare & keep the bottles of prime sake rolling. It’s epic & it’s all set to a ‘crashing waves & seagull chanting’ soundtrack cos you’re literally hovering above the shoreline. Come twilight, fitted blue neon lights contrasted against a pink dusk’ll greet you; it’s the stuff celluloid magic’s made of.
20356 Pacific Coast Hwy, Malibu, CA 90265, United States
This ain’t no chilled beach babe bar: you’re here to hit the shots and party ‘til sunrise. Don’t kick off at Carpe Diem Bar on Hvar first: it’s full of d*ckheads. Go for Hula Hula instead—post-midnight boats will ferry you over to a motherfreakin party desert island. You’ll be greeted by fires, pools, palm trees, world-famous DJs and the most epic jungle dance floor of all time. When you get sweaty, strip off and jump off into the sea. Boats will take you back to the real world just in time for sunrise— not that you’ll wanna leave.
Petricevo Setaliste 10, Hvar, Splitsko-Dalmatinska, Croatia
Willing to travel to the Seychelles in the name of hunting down some epic rum? Stupid question, who isn't? On the beach of one of this heavenly archipelago's 115 islands, you'll find Le Plaine St Andre, a historical site dating back to 1792 which was once the epicentre of agricultural activities on the island. Now it's where you'll find the home of the Takamaka distillery and it's kick-ass bar, which looks out onto the soft white sand and blue waters of the Indian Ocean. Kick back, put ya flip flops up and chill with a Daiquiri in the shade of a palm... now you just gotta figure out how you’re going to “lose” your plane ticket home.
E Coast Rd, Anse Royale, Seychelles