Burgers are OLD NEWS we hear you cry. The surge of new burger joints might have slowed down but the demand is still damn high. McDonald's serve 68 million customers per day, and sure there's a time and a place (3am bender) for a Big Mac meal deal but we're not after rubber cheese and stale buns - bring on the real burgers.
These meaty treats aren’t going anywhere and there’re a f*ck load to get through; BarChick carb-loaded her way around London, all in the name of research.
So, in NO particular order (we know how you burger super fans can get):
The Parisians have come to sex up our burgers and boy, are they doing it right. Big Fernand is the newest member of Soho's patty possy and is bringing a whole mix n match burger menu to the table. Take that artisan bun, choose your meat and get padding it out with confit onions, un-pasteurised French cheeses such as Raclette or Fourme d'Ambert and home-made sauces created by Chef Thomas Boutin. This joint is Parisienne personified: super sexy but probably takes itself a little too seriously.
19 Percy Street, London, W1T
The messiest of them all
If the queue doesn’t scream volumes then the amount of people leaving slightly fatter, with a sweaty grin on their face, will. This place is an in / out affair, no hanging about. Get in, stuff your face and get out. The burger will ooze, innards will fall out and you’ll probably make a right mess, but no one’s gonna judge you. Get the Smokey Robinson with mounds of caramelised onions and bacon – ‘nuff said.
54 James Street, London W1U 1HE / 22-23 Liverpool Street, London, EC2M 7PD
Bad-ass burgers, beats and boozy shakes
The messy date night. The burger you eat when you don’t give a sh*t about getting food all around your mouth and meat juice dripping down your arm, that’s what the huge kitchen rolls are for. The food is served on one big tin tray and it’s up to you to dive in. All the variations are pretty banging but the one that caused the most salivation was the Dead Hippy made with two French mustard fried beef patties, dead hippie sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and minced white onions. Wash them all down with bangin' boozy shakes and killer cocktails.
Triple cooked rosemary fries, honest
These burgers may look relatively small compared to the usual gourmet beasts we’re used to, but what they lack in size they make up for in flavour. Plus you want to save room for those exceptional triple-cooked rosemary fries, they are undeniable. The Special Burger is usually a show stopper, but you can’t go wrong with their awesome Honest Burger made with beef, red onion relish, smoked bacon, mature cheddar, pickled cucumber and lettuce.
Jamacin me crazy
Jamaica in a burger, baby! These guys ain't kidding when they say "a taste of Jamaica that's making London go boom!" - these burgers are explosive. We're talking spice, British bred meat, jerk chicken, red snapper and slow cooked pork belly. They even do a Veggie Boom for all you veg heads and a Brunch Boom if you wanna get on it early. Make sure you order up some plantain fries - they're sweet, succulent and mega.
272 Portobello Road, London, W10 5TY
What wet dreams are made of
This place is a meat lover’s wet dream. The finest cuts of meat, pimping side dishes and expertly made cocktails. People may think that steak’s the obvious choice here, but the burger puts up a damn good fight. Swing by any of those damn fine Hawksmoors to get your banging burger fix. Do it properly with a side of bone marrow and truffle macaroni cheese.
F*ck the budget and add foie gras
If you want to pimp your burger and go all out, this is the place to do it in style. If it’s pay day and you don’t give a f*ck, then get the BB at Bar Boulud, for £23 you get a beef patty, foie gras, red wine braised short ribs, truffle, frisée, horseradish mayonnaise and confit tomatoes in a black onion seed bun. Humina, humina.
66 Knightsbridge, London SW1X 7LA
Meals on wheels
This burger van has got it going on. With meat from farms across England inside a slightly sweet bun to compliment the meaty goodness, these really do tick all the boxes. Plus their fries are like a lucky dip with a few sweet potato ones thrown into the mix. Don’t expect any quirky variations, they keep their burgers basic; basic and buff.
Various Locations - It Moves About...
Plain and simple
Sometimes simplicity really is the best. TWO beef patties (nice touch guys) and a bun that's soft but dense meaning it is able to handle the meaty juices without turning soggy and falling apart – that’s science for you! You can add a fried egg, half an avocado or some bacon if you’re wanting to pimp it. The bacon is almost as thick as the patty… they aren’t mucking about!
19-21 Old Compton Street, Soho, London. W1D 5JJ
The sauce of champions
These guys have really upped the burger game with a menu of only 3 options: burger, veggie burger or steak burger. Plus with just a handful of extras available, it means you won’t be sitting waiting for hours for your mate to decide what to get. The steak burger served with béarnaise (the sauce of champions), really is the tits. There’s really nothing else to say on the matter other than trust us, go and enjoy.
30 Thayer Street, London, W1U 2QP // 342 Kings Road, London, SW3 5UR
Super sized and bear good
Each of the burgers here are named after bears (no sh*t) and there's something to suit everyone; Grizzly, Greedy, Angry, Koala and a Triple Threat! Your guess is as good as ours. They're all jam-packed with flavour and super sized innings, choose wisely and come hungry.
129 Stoke Newington High Street, N16 0PH
Get your Charcoal Fix
This single burger can up your health game in one fell swoop. The dough is laces with bamboo and charcoal that whilst being tasteless it's a massively health-aiding mineral that's been used in Asia for centuries and is currently poppin' off in Japan. The charcoal absorbs toxins and helps with idigestion, wind and heartburn... if that's your thing. The bun is made by The Dusty Knuckle Bakery in Dalston and the chicken (marinated in lime, ginger, soy and sesame overnight) comes from Liverpool Street Chicken shop family butchers, so very local goods.
196 Shoreditch High Street, London E1 6JE