BarChick's guide to blagging your way in

There’s nothing worse than planning a buff night out then facing door drama and finding yourself at the local Wetherspoon's dribbling Bacardi Breezers doing a Galliano. No need people! Follow BarChick’s guide and you’ll be a VIP wherever you turn up. PLAN A Little heads up before you hit the town: plan it out, military style. And then have a backup for when it goes wrong. If you’re going somewhere that runs a guest list, call ahead, email, send a stripper/flowers, whatever. Just let them know you’re coming so you’re not standing around scratching your plums in the freezing North Easterly. BULL SH*T Obviously you’re going to forget the last bit, so you’ll just have to blag your way in. Perhaps you’re an up and coming DJ? Hotshot blogger? New model for Elite? You could even make out you’re hot enough to work for BarChick (this happens all the time). BRIBE So when plan A or B don’t work you might need to drop some dollar. Cash goes a long way for those nighthawks with the clipboards. Stop being pikey and tip like you’re Berlusconi at a brothel. THE LONG GAME Schmooze the door girl, start swinging by your venue of choice on days you don’t even plan to go there – just to say hi. Don’t do anything too grand, you don’t want to creep her out but just make sure she starts to recognise your face, that way when it comes to d-day she’ll either feel like she knows you or feel sorry for you, either way... you’re in. ARM CANDY Everyone knows that the girl to guy ratio on the tiles can easily get lopsided. Work this to your advantage, tote some hot totty on your arm or better still get a posse of pretties and pitch up looking like a p.i.m.p, you’ll be irresistible to promoters. Try your luck at these places: Experimental Cocktail Club The French aren’t renowned for their tact, bless them. The guys on the door here genuinely believe they’re doing you a favor when they tell you that ECC isn’t for you tonight. What they mean is that it’s either too busy, your vibe is too full-on or your mates seem like they’re on more of a WKD thing. Take it however you want, but don't take offence. The way to sneak past the door here is to arrive in pairs, if you’re rocking up with your crew then email in advance and if your mates want to order Mojitos… well this ain't the one for you anyway. 13a Gerrard Street, London, W1D 5PS El Camion This sort-of members bar is more about being in the know than forking out cash. An underground haunt with some serious boogie potential. If you find yourself out on a wobbly limb in Soho you’ll want to make sure someone in your crew has a Pink Chihuahua card or knows how to get one. Either send off for one here or chat about how much you love Dick Bradsell. Google him, it’s his bar. 25 – 27 Brewer Street, London, W1F 0RR The Nightjar These guys have smashed it; even on a Monday you’d be lucky to get in without a table reservation, no seriously. Thursday – Saturday queues stretch halfway round Old Street roundabout and the only way you’re getting in is if you’ve booked. It’s old school, unadventurous and requires the kind of planning usually reserved for birthdays, weddings and bar mitzvahs, but if you wanna party with the suits then you'd better get a PA. 129 City Road, London, EC1V 1JB The Box Turned up wasted wearing sequins, feathers, c*ck rings and whatever else you can find in your fancy dress box. If you don’t look like a rockstar then you’re not coming in. Go hard or you’ll be forced to go home. 11-12 Walker's Court, London, W1F 0SD door dramas