Places Not To Take Your Mama

There's really only one way to thank your ma for all those years of nappies, tantrums and teenage breakdowns... Taking her out for a good ol' fashioned bra-flinging night of drag queens and sex swings.


Slim Jims

Mum like getting her t*ts out? And no, we ain’t talking breastfeeding. As soon as you step foot in Slim Jim’s you’ll notice the unusual ceiling - but it ain’t no ceiling - it’s a collection of bras. When getting dressed for a night out here ditch the Provocateur and go Primark, mum’ll thank you later when she’s handed it over for a free drink. We say stuff a few in your bag, and drink yourself loose.

112 Upper Street, London, N1 1NQ



Mum into whips and chains? Course she is. This place is a Mecca for metal heads, and if mum’s looking to shake up her love life a bit she will definitely find the right tattoo covered, pierced up to his eyeballs, leather wearing guy propping up the bar. Lose the twinset, stick a quid in the jukebox and get stuck into the bourbon.

17 Manette Street, London, W1D 4AS

Cellar Door

Trannies, drag queens and good old fashioned snuff float your mum’s boat? Then this is one old underground loo she’ll want to take a pitstop in. This is the ultimate hidden gem beneath London’s pavements. Book in for excellent cocktails with a big side of naughtiness.

Zero Aldwych, London, WC2E 7DN


Garlic & Shots

If your mum goes big on the garlic in everything she cooks, then she will be all over this place. The beer is served with slices of garlic, the best shots in the house are the honey and garlic ones and the food is crawling in the stuff. Plus at least you know you’ll be safe from any lurking vampires for the next week or so.

14 Frith Street, London, W1D 4RD

Sunset Strip

This ain’t your average underground sleaze dungeon, so it’s perfect for mum if she’s into a little light stripping (no, we’re not talking about her). Kick things off at the bar with the lads (at least you know it’ll be easy pickings on that front) and get some shots in from the lingerie loaded ladies. Mum like football? These guys show all the games so stick her in front of one while you slip downstairs for a service.

30 Dean Street, London, W1D 3SA


The Dolphin

Drag your mum to east London and show her what the cool kids are up to. This place is infamous, and every East Londoner whose worth their weight in skinny jeans either loves it or hates it. Your mum will love the cheesy music (big up R Kelly - Ignition every hour) and will soon be getting down on the floor thanks to all the cheap booze.

165 Mare Street, London, E8 3RH

El Camion

This is where the Soho misfits come to carry on the party, and it’s also run by the genius who invented the Espresso Martini, so if that’s not a USP for mum then we don’t know what is. Wake her up and f*ck her up with a round of the coffee fuelled vodka Martinis, then move onto Margaritas and table-top dancing.

25-27 Brewer Street, London, W1F 0RR



This place is a real diamond in the rough - and if your mum’s a bit of a goer with a passion for shots then she’ll totally be down with this one. It feels like you’ve stumbled across some kind of banging house party, and will take her right back to her heyday.Kick things off with a Tequila con Verdita and get the party started.

5 Ravey Street, London, EC2A 4QW

The Box

It’s fair to say BarChick’s wildest nights have been at The Box. Mum thinks she’s seen it all? She hasn’t until she’s been here. Things like sex swings, sex changes and foursomes are childsplay in here. Best get her p*ssed so in the morning it will all be a blur.

11-12 Walker’s Court, London, W1F 0SD