Things we love

Every activity involves drinking, and it’s totally acceptable to start at breakfast - just make it a Bloody Mary. Harrods sold cocaine until 1916. All our public bikes are named Boris; they’re not your dream ride, but they get you from A to B. Soho. F*ck gentrification, it’ll always have its secret seedy corners. Festival season. Every weekend from May to September. Get glitter; get involved.

Things we wish we had known

Stand on the right. Walk on the left. Or everyone will hate you. Only crazy people and Americans talk to strangers. British humour. Don’t take offense. The Big Issue isn’t some huge problem we all have, it’s a magazine. Black cabs are a rip off, but we don’t care, they’re the real deal. Most bars shut by 2am.