Things we love:

300 sunny days a year. Palo de Mallorca, the local brew is dark, bitter and a bit bizarre but grows on you after you’ve had a few. Afternoon siestas, daytime drinking and fiestas to celebrate fiestas. Phrases like: No pasa nada (no worries) and tranquilla (take it easy). Island life; BarChick settled into it yesterday. The National Anthem is based on an ancient song about a spider. OK.

Things we wish we’d known:

Leave the heels and handbag at home as you’ll be hard pressed finding a bar where the dresscode isn’t Havaiana’s and sandy feet. Expect butt nakedness at normal beaches and fully clothed folk at the nudist ones, it can be confusing. Magaluf’s massive club BCM has the world's largest foam machine, if that's your thing.