Orange is the new black, and at Brick Lane's Alcotraz slammer you gotta look the part. Dress light, 'cos you'll be supplied with your own orange boiler suit to whack on over your clothes. Smuggle your bottle of choice past the warden and it's game on. There's no strip search in place, but if you're lucky you might have a hot cellmate to do the job once you're both outta the slammer. 

Your sentence is for an hour and 45 minutes, so there's plenty of time for one of the inmates to knock up four cocktails on the DL with your spirit. We snuck in a small bottle of The Botanist Gin and another of The Glenlivet Founder's Reserve, but if you just wanna get a bottle of voddy from the off-licence next door then go for it. There's no menu, but from what we tried we reckon the repertoire of the mixology-inclined inmates is of the "crowd-pleaser" variety. Our cell saw three variations on a Pornstar Martini - one vodka, one gin and one whisky. All were seriously sweet and served in an old bean can. Kitsch. They knocked up a pretty tasty Whisky Sour and a tangy Tom Collins, too. The rest is a sugary, fruity blur. But you're not here for world-class cocktails. You're here for a bad-ass time.