Where else can you go to the loo and listen to 'The Owl and the Pussy Cat' at the same time? No wonder Kate Moss keeps coming back.

Dismiss all the Dorchester's drama, and head downstairs to China Tang. Who wants afternoon tea, when you can have a Dirty Martini? It's super sophisticated down here, described as 30's Art Deco and it works. No dodgy house music, just classic style and excellent service. Most of the clientele look like they do this every day, so don't bat an eyelid at the prices, sit back and pretend you're Victoria B.

If the free nibbles don't hit the spot, you can eat like an Emperor from the Chinese menu. The food rocks; dim sum, duck, they've got all the classics. The cocktails are where it's at though, suck up a Singapore Sling, put back a proper Pina Colada, and down a delicious Daiquiri. They'll all be good here. PS. Kiss Me, I’m Chinese (it's written on the cotton hand towels in the loos).