The Ibiza branch of Cipriani  sashayed its way into the Marina in 2013, affectionately dubbed Chippers it inhabits the 5* Ibiza Gran Hotel, glam.

Go posh or go home with this one; vests, flats, tracksuit bottoms and other such laid back attire are not invited to this party.

Erring on the pricey side of expensive either get yourself invited or make sure you’re packing plastic. There’s no doubting Downtown Ibiza’s grandeur, staff run around in white tail coats and there’s an air of old school Italian glamour, it's hard not to be seduced.

Food is exquisite and even the ice cream breaks boundaries. When it comes to the booze go classic to avoid looking like a call-girl; wine, Champagne, Martini... Naturally you’ll want to order a Bellini here, the drink was invented by Guiseppe Cipriani at Harry’s Bar in Venice so you know these guys’ll do it right.

Starters are animated with a pretty porno ‘cabaret’ show (choose the terrace for the best view or) avert your gaze if you’re prone to the giggles, Barchick sat at the owner’s table and sniggered all the way through. Classy.