Alright, this place is a little bit puke-in-your-mouth with its leafy ceiling, astroturf under each table, pink walls and pretty garden furniture, but don’t let that put you off. With the occasional hen party, eccentric owner Miss Pearls will tell you ‘it’s a place for the chicks but the guys always follow’. She speaks the truth.

Hit the third floor of what looks like a boring housing complex on one of Melbourne’s main drags and you’ll find naughty private rooms as well as dainty garden terraces (blankets provided during winter). Punch jugs are served by hot staff dressed in retro tennis gear and cocktails are exceptional - this is just one big-ass garden party.

This joint is based on an infamous 1860’s Parisian brothel owner, Madame Brussels and they’ve previously hosted an aphrodisiac orgy night… you’re not here to behave.